Happy Birthday Mom! Musings and Messes From Your Daughter.

Remember when you’d spend hours upon hours making breath-taking wedding cakes in the tiny little Alabama kitchen with me and my sister playing at your feet?  How when a cake didn’t turn out right, instead of tossing it into the trash you’d give it to us so we could spend hours on end making messy roses and crazy frosting patterns that you deemed were a masterpiece?  Yes, you did that.  And it was good.  And I remember the way you smiled at me.

Remember when, after the divorce, we were struggling and living on patio furniture in the living room and you decided to go back to college while working full time and taking care of four kids?  How when you’d lock your bedroom door and we’d hear you crying from the other side, and we’d have cinnamon toast for dinner?  Then, when you graduated.  When you walked the stage and took that diploma in your hand and owned every minute of every struggle so that you could better your life, our lives?  Yes, you did that.  And it was good.  And I remember how inspired I was.

Remember when, after we were estranged for so many years, you came to visit me and we stood in my living room in Iowa and didn’t know where to start?  How you took a deep breath, looked me right in the eye and admitted that sometimes as a mom you didn’t feel worthy?  Yes, you did that.  And it was good.  And I remember how I was so relieved because I felt the same way too as a mom and how we decided to love each other anyway.

Remember when I was a self absorbed brat who blamed everyone around her for her pain?   How I now call you everyday, sometimes twice a day, even though I’m 40 something and a Grandma myself because I can’t go a single day without hearing your voice?  How your sense of humor, prayers, and gentle reassurance that I am loved comforts me. Your patience did that.  And it is good.  And I remember, everyday, how much I value what you, as a woman, have gone through and how you, as my mother, have loved me.

Remember when we, one day, decided that the past wasn’t going to overpower the future and that we were super women hero’s who could defy all the odds and be best friends in the end?

Remember when I wrote a birthday letter to you and put it online and embarrassed the Sh&t out of you?

I love you mama.  Happy Birthday.

Thanks for being exactly, wonderfully, amazingly you.







&*#! U Depression. I’m here to stay.

For some of us it’s situational and for others it’s a chemical imbalance.  For some it’s triggered by screaming people in our faces, reminding us of childhood abuse and for others it’s the long hot shower turned cold because we can’t fathom how we’re going to finish the day.  For some, bi-polar disorder, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Mania ….. showing up to work hoping you can make it until noon so you can drive around the block and sit at  the corner and cry it out or hell, not even making it out of bed on a Tuesday.  Tuesday’s are hard.

Truth.   Depression you DO NOT OWN ME.  I will refuse to allow you to take me down.  I will get help.  I will see my therapist.  I will take my medication.  I will eat right.  I will exercise.  I will tell the people I love the most when I am hurting instead of isolating.  I will REFUSE, do you hear me now, I will REFUSE TO TAKE THIS LYING DOWN.

I will write a book about you.  How you tried to kill me.   And I will save others because if I am here for good …. SO ARE THEY.

Believe.  Hard.  For whatever reason.  Depression ?  @*(# ….. WE ARE HERE TO STAY!


Redemption.  Coming Soon to Amazon.  Follow me at @courtneyfrey on Facebook for details on Friday’s launch!

Man Leaves Sneaky Hidden Love Letter on Fiance’s Laptop A MUST READ

A little back story ….

James and I have been together for going on 20 years, counting the few years we were separated.  In all of that time, he hasn’t been a love letter writing kind of guy.  He’s more your military career, nascar watching, bonfire and gun shooting type.  He’s a quiet man, who only speaks when he has something very important to say.  He’s an exceptional father.  A reliable co-worker.  A faithful servant to our Country.  But, definitely not a love letter writing sort.  Through the last 20 years I’ve accepted this about him.  Being an author myself and with words being my livelihood this has been difficult.  Yet, he has so many wonderful qualities and traits that are far beyond my silly expectations and desires for his writing love letters to me that I’ve come to a place of peace without them.

So, it was quite a shock this afternoon as I was closing out writing my third novel and noticed that I had an additional Word window open.  Clicking it, I was transfixed.  He’d snuck down to my laptop in the night and written me a letter, knowing I would find it the next day while he was at work.

Here is what he wrote:

“HI, gorgeous most beautiful woman. I hope you have the most amazing time with your friends today garage sale shopping.  I have been so impressed with how you have handled yourself the past few weeks.

You make me so happy! you are a kick ass woman and I’m proud to be your man. I know that im not the most wordy guy but hopefully leaving this message will speak to you as to how i feel about you. don’t get me wrong your a pain in my ass but your the kind of pain in my ass that i cant live without.

Your man!

P.S. do you know how many poisonous spiders their are in the world?”


I know it’s silly and the letter is short and to the point, but it meant the world to me.  To be so in love with someone that you go against everything that feels natural to give a gift that you know will bless the other person is selfless love in action. He gave me something more priceless than flowers and jewelry; he gave me his time and his heart.  I had to share because as everyone knows, Mother’s Day is coming up.   Forego the over-priced cards and sneak her a note.  Hand write it or sneak it onto her computer.  Bless her with your words.

And for the love of healthy competition, someone please tell me how many poisonous spiders there are!  (I can’t find it!) lol



Poem From a Father to His Daughter

A poem my daddy wrote to me this week …. too beautiful not to share.


The grand peaks of the Himalayas

The majestic hidden herds of whales deep within the ocean

The ornate and storied mansions that are home  to the wealth of the world
The deep space probe hurtling into the void silently seeking other forms of life
The works of Shakespeare, Milton and Darwin
The mighty sun and beckoning moon
All kneel in wonder at the love between
a blossomed daughter and a grateful weary man who
holds dear to the title of father.
me and dad

Writing a Love Letter: My Heart Revealed


I wasn’t going to share this, but I ran it by a friend of mine today and she encouraged me too …. she said, “This will inspire others to write love letters to the people that they love!”  I’ve been leaving james letters in his top drawer for a while now and this was the one i wrote yesterday that he will get tomorrow. 🙂 (Sh, don’t tell him.) 🙂

So I thought maybe she was right …. maybe some of you might be encouraged to put your heart onto paper because it really could make a huge difference.  It doesn’t have to be as long as mine is, but something short and sweet.  Anything .. a sentence  – doesn’t matter.  let’s lift our loved one’s up and make sure that they know and are encouraged by what they mean to us.
here is the letter ….

I love him so much that my heart literally skips a beat when I hear the front door open.  I dream about him.  I miss him when we are apart.  I can smell his skin when I’m grocery shopping and get so distracted that I forget what I came for.  I wonder if he’s thinking about me, but don’t care if he’ s not and look for ways to surprise him – like hidden letters I write in his bag or under his pillow.  I’m like a teenage school girl who can’t get enough of that one single second that he looks into my eyes and whispers that he loves me.  I want to hear it a thousand times and with each time it only means more than before.

I love him so much that I worry that I’m not good enough for him.  I count the ways I have blessed him in a single day and wonder if it was enough to show him how much he means to me.  I hold him too close, kiss him too long, and talk until there’s nothing left to say only to hear his voice.

I work on the woman that I am because I know he deserves the best of me all the time.  To mirror his excellence in integrity, attitude, ethic and confidence – a daily reminder that this is the man that I get to come home to at the end of my day.  And I want to equal the measure of a man that he is in the woman that I strive to become because of him.

He is not just the father of my children, the man who they can count on to be strong and wise and loving and gentle yet firm – but he is the caretaker of a family who could not live without him.  The burden he carries is large and yet his shoulders are capable and his heart fully worthy of the task.  His life is the example of hard work, trust, God fearing prayer, and most of all … the training and the love he received from his loving parents.  The example he is surpasses anything I’ve ever known and I fall un-worthy at his feet with gratitude for the love he sacrifices to give.

After eighteen years with the same man I feel as if it is that first moment.  When his eye catches mine and the goosebumps prickle up and I wonder …. does he really like me?

Nearly everything I’ve learned in the last eighteen years of my life I have learned from just one man.  The power of unconditional love, the victory of sacrifice, the moral of a good heart, and the joy of simplicity in being someone others can count on.   I admire him.  I adore him.  I’ve fallen in love with him every day for the past two years.

And I can’t wait for tomorrow.

So I can tell you, James.  All over again.   I love you.  I love you more every time I blink.  Every time I move.  Every time I think about all that I am and all that I have … because of you.

Write. Think. Live: Interview With Cecily Patterson

cecily paterson

“Sometimes people get in touch with me and ask me to review their books on my blog and, you know, being a writer and all, I really do want to say yes, but then I look at their book and I think ‘hmm, 6 Easy Ways to Improve Your Digestion?* This isn’t really a good fit …’      and I have to say no thank you very much.

But that’s not the case with this book. How To Look Good Naked:  Exposing Yourself to the Real You is funny, real, well-written and timely. (Plus the authors have been influenced by Brene Brown, who I think no-one can really be influenced enough by.)

I loved it. So I invited the authors Jen Kelchner and Courtney Frey of www.igniteyourtruth.com to answer some questions and tell us a little bit about what they do.”  Cecily Paterson


Hungry for a GOD BOOM MOMENT?

We launched our recent book, “How To Look Good Naked: Exposing Yourself to the Real You” this morning as a KINDLE DOWNLOAD and by 6pm tonight we were ranked #4 in our category on AMAZON.COM.  SO …. GET IF FREE NOW!  JOIN THE GOD BOOM!

People are talking about GETTING NAKED – letting go and digging in.  We are TIRED of being BORED with our lives and seek a PASSIONATE life.  Strip down, let’s go there together!

Here is our latest review ….

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars See more than a reflection . . . . September 3, 2013
By TishC
Format:Kindle Edition
Let’s be real. Looking in the mirror is outside our comfort zone. Our reflection of nakedness is even worse. Nevertheless, why do we feel that way? God’s grace is sufficient. He can turn our mess into a message. This book teaches us how to look in a mirror and begin peeling back the layers inside our souls. During this process, you will find something very raw, very ugly and very real: you have exposed your true self.

Does anyone know the real you? When you peel back the layers, will you find shame, pain, or loneliness? …..all three? Fear of rejection results in an external façade. Is that what you see in your mirror? We cannot feel loved for who we really are, as long as we are not known as we really are.

This book will touch your soul deeply and stir up emotions within you. The raw, naked truth in its pages speaks that boldly. How to Look Good Naked will authentically challenge you. No two reflections in those mirrors will look exactly the same. Personally or physically, you may not have shared in many of the author’s experiences, but this book will make you feel completely understood.

I found my life’s journey in nearly every word. To be able to resonate with a reader as Jen and Courtney do is a powerful thing and true artistry in a work of literature. But even greater than that, is how they accepted God’s grace, redemption and restoration. This book shares how He healed them from the inside out and how He can change you. Prepare yourself to find hope and healing in your brokenness. Dare to be moved as you learn how to turn your mess into a message. Prepare to be motivated to the truth of your beautiful nakedness. Speak the affirmations taught in How to Look Good Naked; see more than a reflection and boldly find your purpose.


How To Look Good Naked: Exposing the REAL YOU!

how to look good naked cover 4

Jen and I are actively looking for a few people who wouldn’t mind reading our upcoming book and giving us pre-launch feedback!  We will send you a FREE PDF version of this book for you to read and in return for your review and your posting it onto your blog with a backlink to our website we will ADVERTISE YOUR BLOG on our Podcast which is heard nationally on itunes, stitcher radio, and via our website!  www.igniteyourtruth.com

We’re ONLY taking the FIRST 5 Bloggers who want in on this so get your entries in quickly and let’s work together to spread a positive message and network for one another!

Just reply to this post or send a personal email to info@igniteyourtruth.com

Thanks!  Jen and Courtney

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