Writing a Love Letter: My Heart Revealed

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I wasn’t going to share this, but I ran it by a friend of mine today and she encouraged me too …. she said, “This will inspire others to write love letters to the people that they love!”  I’ve been leaving james letters in his top drawer for a while now and this was the one i wrote yesterday that he will get tomorrow. 🙂 (Sh, don’t tell him.) 🙂

So I thought maybe she was right …. maybe some of you might be encouraged to put your heart onto paper because it really could make a huge difference.  It doesn’t have to be as long as mine is, but something short and sweet.  Anything .. a sentence  – doesn’t matter.  let’s lift our loved one’s up and make sure that they know and are encouraged by what they mean to us.
here is the letter ….
_________________________

I love him so much that my heart literally skips a beat when I hear the front door open.  I dream about him.  I miss him when we are apart.  I can smell his skin when I’m grocery shopping and get so distracted that I forget what I came for.  I wonder if he’s thinking about me, but don’t care if he’ s not and look for ways to surprise him – like hidden letters I write in his bag or under his pillow.  I’m like a teenage school girl who can’t get enough of that one single second that he looks into my eyes and whispers that he loves me.  I want to hear it a thousand times and with each time it only means more than before.

I love him so much that I worry that I’m not good enough for him.  I count the ways I have blessed him in a single day and wonder if it was enough to show him how much he means to me.  I hold him too close, kiss him too long, and talk until there’s nothing left to say only to hear his voice.

I work on the woman that I am because I know he deserves the best of me all the time.  To mirror his excellence in integrity, attitude, ethic and confidence – a daily reminder that this is the man that I get to come home to at the end of my day.  And I want to equal the measure of a man that he is in the woman that I strive to become because of him.

He is not just the father of my children, the man who they can count on to be strong and wise and loving and gentle yet firm – but he is the caretaker of a family who could not live without him.  The burden he carries is large and yet his shoulders are capable and his heart fully worthy of the task.  His life is the example of hard work, trust, God fearing prayer, and most of all … the training and the love he received from his loving parents.  The example he is surpasses anything I’ve ever known and I fall un-worthy at his feet with gratitude for the love he sacrifices to give.

After eighteen years with the same man I feel as if it is that first moment.  When his eye catches mine and the goosebumps prickle up and I wonder …. does he really like me?

Nearly everything I’ve learned in the last eighteen years of my life I have learned from just one man.  The power of unconditional love, the victory of sacrifice, the moral of a good heart, and the joy of simplicity in being someone others can count on.   I admire him.  I adore him.  I’ve fallen in love with him every day for the past two years.

And I can’t wait for tomorrow.

So I can tell you, James.  All over again.   I love you.  I love you more every time I blink.  Every time I move.  Every time I think about all that I am and all that I have … because of you.

You Are The Prize: No More Proving Yourself To Others!

EP017_YOUARETHEPRIZEDo others believe in you because you believe in yourself? This is more than confidence. No more proving yourself to others.

Stop proving what you can do. Believe in who you are. You are the prize!!

If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I good enough,” or, “Why do people even like me?”  You should listen in to Jen and Courtney as we dig deep into how each of us can brilliantly discover how our originality, innate talents and gifts, and our sense of confidence can literally change your life and your relationships!

Embrace the gift that is you! LISTEN HERE FREE!

Tribute to My Best Friends

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Revealing our true authentic selves is painful.  Let’s face it, we go into it knowing that we are potentially setting ourselves up for judgment, rejection, and insurmountable amounts of regret.  Or, at the very least, a cold blank stare from across the table in that moment you think to yourself, “Okay, so that didn’t work.”  Being real, truly and painfully real, takes courage and confidence at the same time.  But, I think it takes something else too … it takes trust.  Trusting that no matter what anyone else thinks about you, how they might respond to you, or what they’ll say about you behind your back – that you can stand in the truth of who you are regardless and no one can take that away.  Trust in ourselves that we are being real, that we aren’t fake, and that our measure of worth is safe.  There is a hope we live with that eventually in our authenticity that someone, even just one person, will see us in our light and love us for it.

I consider myself the most blessed woman because I have several of those people.  They are my first phone call when crisis strikes, my first hug, and the arms I run into when the tears won’t stop falling.  They are my encouragers of life, my strong hold to faith, and my biggest fans.  My imperfections, short comings, and ups and downs are not measured and tallied up for later accusations, but are deemed a glorious part of all that makes up the crazy mold of my personality and the effort I give even when it’s not enough.  I can laugh too hard, cry too often, bitch and complain, and know that at the end of the phone, the other side of a facebook conversation, or sitting across from the table is someone who trusts me, loves me unconditionally, and actually needs me in their life.

We can talk about nothing and then wonder about everything, we share journey’s and trials and tribulations.  We are generations of mothers, sisters, and wives and ex-wives … all a combination of strength, courage and tenacity.  We share our pain, our losses, our hopes, and our emotional struggles – we spend nights in the give up motel together watching old Hallmark movies and then we kick eachother’s butt’s enough to motivate us to move the hell out of it.  Together sometimes.  Because there are strength in numbers.

In the last six months of my life I have built up a huge foundation of love, support, and friendship with several woman with whom I could never have done without along this short journey of my own self-searching and long awaited dreams.  I couldn’t have lasted past an hour of a manic episode, or a phone call of destruction.  I needed them, relied on them, and hungered for the love they had to give when I had nothing left to offer.  When the time called for it they demanded I pull up my big girl panties, and other times they prayed with me.  When the moment was right, they knew I needed a bag of liqueur, a video of a son laughing, a new hat, and a sushi date.  My circle of strong friends has gathered around me like warrior women and refused to let me loose the battle.

I trust them.  I adore them.  I need them.  I am growing into the woman I know that I can become because I know, along the way towards that goal ahead, they are standing with me.  I am never alone.

They are you.  I hold you close in my heart, and treasure my life with you, not taking one single second of all that you are and what you offer and give so freely to me without condition.  You bless me beyond measure and this morning, today, I needed you to hear why.

I love everything about you, exactly as you are, and what makes you unique is the very thing that I count on to be true, authentic, and real.   You are beautiful.  My friends, my sisters.

Thank you for that moment you decided, when I opened up my heart to reveal my true self, that I was good enough just as I am.  Thank you for not rejecting me, judging me, or whispering behind my back.  Thank you for loving me just as I am and never requiring me to be anything but me.  You’ve taught me how to grow, how to fall and get back up again, and that there is no greater important thing on the face of this earth than to love and to be loved in return.