1: Be Specific!
Drop the “How are you doing?” and go for the, “Tell me what you’re dealing with right now.” Too weird? Try, “I really value you in my life, and it’s been on my heart to really get to know you better. I know what you’ve been doing, but tell me how you’ve been feeling?” Or, go for the gusto, “Do you ever feel like our friendship could be more than what it is?” Ask specific questions that are on your heart to ask – don’t be afraid to get specific and vulnerable!
As hard as it is to not make it about you or what you’ve gone through or how you can relate, sometimes, we just need to be heard. Listening is an act of love.
Repeat back what you’ve heard to your friend and validate that you’ve really listened to her. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions and let her know how much joy it brings that she trusts you enough to share her heart with you!
4: Support & Empower!
Drop the “Well, what can I do to help you?” and go for the, “I’m going to help – we’re going to get through this together.” Offer ideas instead of advice. And then, follow through with affirmation – tell her how strong she is, how beautiful, and that she is more than capable because she has refused to give up! Empower her with your support, and create action in your relationship. Schedule your next get together and follow up with a phone call!
5: Be Open To Receiving!
What we receive from our friendships is in direct correlation to what we give. As you move forward in your authenticity to truly love and support, you will soon discover that your friend will gain more trust in you and this in turn will free her to be more of who she is with you. Your value, the gifts and qualities that you bring to the table, will begin to shine and your cup will be overflowing with her ability to give back. Whatever you desire from your friendship …. start by giving it today!